she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
