this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
