you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
