remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
