No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
