Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
