man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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