Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
