You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
