tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
