I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize