i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
