youre lurking in front of me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
