Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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