what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
