So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
