just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
