Will you blow on my dice?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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