people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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