you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
