her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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