Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
