i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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