Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Michael Bay diarrhea
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
