after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
