She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
