when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
