The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
