I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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