i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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