Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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