are you still at the devil's house?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
