i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
