I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
