I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
