As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
