I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
