Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
MIDGETS
????
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
