Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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