i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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