some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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