That's when you crack a 10am beer
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
