At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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