You're completely useless in the revolution.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
