dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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