Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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