If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize
