she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
