oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
