as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
