what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Sorry my hands just texted you
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
