Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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