PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
