I wanna passion pit in your ass
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
